will you always be our hyphens?

that was the question koki asked kat-tun fans during their concert.

and well, he's now officially out of johnny's because of several violations of rules.

i guess it's a case of しょうがない, because he indeed violated several rules, and as a member of johnny's, as much as you get propped up being in a popular organisation, you have to bear the consequences as well.

i'll miss koki and his rapping. sigh. still preferred kat-tun with 6 people. 5 was okay but now... 4 :'( even though i won't go to the extent of calling myself a hyphen, i am a big fan of kat-tun. arashi will always be ichiban and no group gets close to their position, but kat-tun is actually my second favourite among the JE groups. that's why this impacted me so so badly.

and now i wanna watch ore ore even more badly. because it will be my first and last time hearing a kat-tun song on the local big screens, and my first and last time hearing koki's voice here. but i have stupid a levels UGH.

to end off what koki said,

"then we will always be kat-tun"

a new favourite poem

MIRAGE by Christina Rossetti

The hope I dreamed of was a dream,
Was but a dream; and now I wake
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
For a dream's sake.

I hang my harp upon a tree,
A weeping willow in a lake;
I hang my silenced harp there, wrung and snapt
For a dream's sake.

Lie still, lie still, my breaking heart;
My silent heart, lie still and break:
Life, and the world, and mine own self, are changed
For a dream's sake.

smile in the beautiful world

thought i'd make this allusion to the tagline in arashi's BW, because it fits in perfectly. long blog post ahead ^^

dad took us on a drive around the yishun area that stretched past lower seletar reservoir, that led to seletar and finally punggol. it was so calming, the scenery was beautiful and i felt like i was in another country.

we first drove along the long stretch of road at lower pierce reservoir, where we saw many people fishing and taking photos of the beautiful scenery. there was this scene where it was just trees and greenery amidst the reservoir, i still recall it vividly now, and it looked just like a painting. wow. was so stunned at the beauty that was merely a 15 minute drive away from my house. and i spotted a glimpse of my condo from the reservoir too ^^

next, we drove along this long bend that seemed to lead onto nowhere. it was just patches of forest and greenery on both sides, with overgrown shrubs and fallen trees. no traffic lights, no signs of civilisation, it felt as if we were transported to another country. wow. my dad joked that if anyone was practising for a marathon, that would be a perfect and tranquil spot to jog. who knows, the wild dogs might even come out and chase you, giving you good motivation to continue your run.

then we FINALLY reached a few traffic lights along the seletar area that had some semblance of civilisation, it was where they stored sand and mostly industrial areas. and we spotted an eagle! it's so rare to see an eagle here, and it provided us an indescribable amount of inspiration and strength. the grandeur of the eagle, flying head-on and gliding across the azure blue sky, was just amazing. it had this unspeakable sense of might that was coupled with grace and agility, where it simply flew over us and did not even feel alarmed when our car drove underneath it.

the roads continued on to punggol, where all the time, i just marveled at the beautiful clouds in the skies today that seemed to match the stillness of the rivers and reservoirs. the evening sun that beat down on the waters produced these glittery diamonds that made me feel even more blessed to experience the power of nature in our highly urbanised city. it saddened me to see the rows and rows of new HDB flats being built in the khatib area this afternoon during lunch, where all the foresty areas, rich of wildlife and nature, are giving way to more... grey slabs of concrete and more concrete. i will deeply miss the greenery that greets me every morning as i draw my curtains.

i hope these patches of greenery in seletar-punggol stay. it's such a beautiful place that remains unaffected, and even exudes a sense of oblivion, to all the hustle and bustle of the city life. a perfect getaway for people who just need to breathe in and experience moments of countryside life for a while.

this drive makes me want to believe: this world can be beautiful if you look out for the littlest things, it really is.


pet recently introduced this app called happier to me. such a coincidence, because recently i like the idea of jotting down happy moments, to remind me of life's beautiful moments whenever i'm feeling down. this website makes it so much easier. although i'd prefer to write them down on pen and paper, but i'm usually too lazy to :P

just realised there're a lot of things to be happy about these few months despite prelims (ahhhhh) coming.

i will treasure these happy moments, and remember them if shitty moments occur in future. but yes it is a great feeling to feel bliss right now.

pardon my lack of good vocab. i'm just a bit hungry haha.

reasons why i need to see sho

well, i wish everyone would see the deeper meaning why i want to meet sho.

to me, he is not just an arashi member who has nadegata and raps. he is one of my role models in life. i have no idea how he managed to juggle studies and arashi at the same time, doing so well and even graduating with an economics degree from keio. okay, surely some strings must have been pulled, having a politician dad and coming from a pretty well-off family. but you see, he worked so hard to get where he is today. his grandparents were vehemently against him joining johnny's, but yet he still persisted. every new year when sho met his grandparents, they would ask him about when he would quit being a johnny's junior, but he never gave up on his dreams.

and look at how hard he and the other members worked, to get to the top. all the happiness that they have brought to us fans during their nearly 14 years of arashi just make me want to go up to him and say, ありがとう。and of course, have him fall for me. LOL.


pardon me for the lack of originality in this post. but i have to post the lyrics of breathless. listening to it for the umpteenth time tonight, because it quite aptly describes my feelings now. and platina data is an awesome movie to go along with it. but whatever. here you go :)

何を求め どこへ行くのか

見覚えのあるその姿を まどろみの中で追いかけてみる
夢が覚めても思い出せない 欠け落ちた時間(とき)の隙間を漂うだけ

吐き出した この想いは もう届かない
孤独さえ運命(さだめ)ならば 震える心を強く抱き締めて

体中叫んでる まるで無限の迷路に
傷だらけの記憶 悲しみの果てまで 彷徨(さまよ)って
嘘のない世界など どこにもない時代でも
確かめたい 自分だけに 刻まれてるDNA
もがいている 叫んでいる 生きる自分の姿を 探し続けて

いつしか涙も涸(か)れ果てた 塗りつぶされてた痛みさえ疼(うず)きだして

お前だけは もう離さない けして消えないで
約束は儚くとも この手に温もりをただ抱き締める

終わらない深い闇 触れられない時間にも
二人だけの記憶 変わらずあるのなら 教えて
叶わない願いでも 答えのない世界でも
愛すること それだけは 決まっていたDNA
振り返るとき その微笑みを 強く焼き付けたいから 幻でも

自分に隠された もうひとつの姿 何かを囁(ささや)いてる
「求めるものはひとつ」 この手が真実を話してる

体中叫んでる まるで無限の迷路に
傷だらけの記憶 悲しみの果てまで 彷徨(さまよ)って
嘘のない世界など どこにもない時代でも
確かめたい 自分だけに 刻まれてるDNA
もがいている 叫んでいる 生きる自分の姿を 探し続けて


Seems like everything's coming to an end recently.

Hey!Hey!Hey! ended after 18 years of being on Japanese TV screens every week.

Himitsu no Arashi chan is ending next year March.

The holidays are ending, meaning the year is coming to a close.

Even the world is ending (supposedly) this Friday.

Seriously hate it when time speeds past so fast :( I hate it when leisure time stops and it's back to work again. Rah. Quite sad about HnA ending though, was hoping for a major revitalisation of the show instead of it coming to a complete end. I wouldn't mind if they did crazy things like what they used to in A no Arashi, or sad tearjerky segments like those on Mago Mago Arashi. Or maybe they could do some amazing race around Japan thingie, something to give their show an extra boost.

Because the end of HnA means the end of an Arashi variety show. Less chances for them to come together and be wacky and entertain us. Well I guess it's part of the Johnny's thing, as you get older you start appearing less on TV to make way for the younger groups. And then Arashi will only appear during concerts, Kouhaku and yeah the boring stuff ): Awww man.

See, this is why I hate growing up. I wish they would stay as kids. I know they're still kids deep down, but when they're part of the best entertainment company in Japan who has supposedly brought them so far, guess they can't do much...

Tata for now, xoxo

happy (:

Random post here haha.

OK I'm just momentarily happy because I got my Arashi BW Purple Hair Tie yesterday (: Woohoo.

And I also got giveaways from this super kind fangirl on Friday! She gave me a KAT-TUN Freecell magazine and a Kame Kazuya photobook :) She also wanted to give away an Arafes tote bag!!! OMG but it was taken already ): I want an Arafes tote bag, that lucky girl. But I'm still quite grateful I got the magazine and the photobook, they didn't come cheap, must be thankful for what I got :)

And I really should get back to doing Econs E-learning but I'm just here slacking my bum away, looking for food and wanting to take a nap hahaha.


with great power comes with great responsibility

So, a new school term has started, with orientation kicking off JC life! (: I'm not exactly looking forward to the next 2 years, because it will be pure slogging out for A Levels. Which I really need to buck up, in order to get good grades. Orientation has been quite sucky I guess. My OG has nice girls but they're kinds shy, like during cheers they're reluctant to cheer :( I'm guessing that they're still unfamiliar with the surroundings, definitely can empathize with their plight, leaving friends back in their secondary school and beginning life in NJ... Hopefully they'll open up! (: Yikes, I need to stop mixing around with IP ppl and talk to them too haha. And and! I hope the Humanities mainstream students are nice! So few Humanities students omg, I think only one or two from my OG are taking Humanities T_T

But despite that, I think so far, 2012 has been really kind towards me. First was O Level results, and today I've got two pieces of good news to share -


As much as I'm rejoicing, I'm fully aware of the huge responsibility I have to shoulder for the above stated. With a scholarship comes expectations from teachers to do well in academics, be even more proactive in CCA, and to take initiatives in various activities. And of course, good conduct grades. Hopefully I'll be able to live up to these expectations(: And I think Maldives would give me a good chance for me to start on this journey, since there will be loads of pre-trip planning to be done, as well as settling of logistics. With my fellow leaders (tentatively Kai Jiun, Li Tong, Li Lin and Matthew), hopefully we would be able to do a splendid job and help the Maldivians! I'm hoping I can survive the third world conditions there; Cambodia was really nothing compared to Maldives OCIP I think. But oh well, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER CLARISSA. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Hoping that 2012 will continue progressing smoothly! (: